The Truth About Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is coming up this Sunday! In honor of this, we’d like to share with you Julia Ward Howe’s Mother’s Day Proclamation which was sent to us the other day by Barbra Harrison, a Women’s Center Director from the ’80s, via Lee Sennish! (Thanks to both of these wonderful women!)

Mother’s Day originated after the Civil War, as a form of protest regarding the death and destruction of the war, by women who had lost their sons. Mother’s Day was created in 1858 by a community activist named Anna Reeves Jarvis. Jarvis organized Mothers’ Works Days in West Virginia, with the goal of improving sanitation in Appalachian communities of West Virginia. During the Civil War, Jarvis and other women left their families to care for the wounded on both sides. Jarvis also spent her time during the war as a peacemaker, calling together meetings to try and convince men on both sides to end the fighting.

In 1872, Julia Ward Howe proposed an annual National Mother’s Day for Peace. This is the original proclimation that she issued:

Arise then…women of this day!

Arise, all women who have hearts!

Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!

“We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,

Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,

For caresses and applause.

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn

All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.

We, the women of one country,

Will be too tender of those of another country

To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with

Our own. It says: “Disarm! Disarm!

The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”

Blood does not wipe out dishonor,

Nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil

At the summons of war,

Let women now leave all that may be left of home

For a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means

Whereby the great human family can live in peace…

Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,

But of God -

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask

That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,

May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient

And the earliest period consistent with its objects,

To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,

The amicable settlement of international questions,

The great and general interests of peace.

Americans celebrated Mothers’ Day for Peace on June 2 for thirty years after this proclamation. In 1913 Congress declared that the second Sunday in May would be Mother’s Day.Many activists mark this proclamation as the turning point where Mother’s Day became commercialized and focused on honoring mothers through gifts and fancy meals (consumer goods) rather than through activism and the pursuit of peace.

Personally, I would love to reclaim Mother’s Day for Peace by keeping this activist perspective firmly in mind this Sunday. I play to talk with my family (at Mother’s Day Brunch) about the origins of this holiday and what it means, as a start in reclaiming it. I also plan to make a donation to the activist organization of my mother’s choice as a means of reclaiming those roots. What do you think?

Small is Tremendous

This image comes from an awesome blog (click the picture to check it out) created by someone who posts inspirational post-it notes all over Singapore!

This particular note is one of my favorites because it reminds me of one of the major things we teach people when talking about green dots. Basically: no matter how small your action, it is so much better than having done nothing because, together, those small actions add up to change a culture!

To employ a sort-of metaphor, college is a great illustration of this. When I started at my school I felt as if I was going to be working towards my Undergrad degree forever because 128 credits just seemed like so many; each semester’s work seemed impossibly small in the face of 128 credits. Now that I have about nine classes left to go those same semester-long steps still seem small (and sometimes I wish they were bigger so I didn’t have to graduate so soon!) but I can see how much power there is in stacking up one class at a time… together they make up that “impossibly” big 128. The irony of all this is that getting a graduate degree (which I hope to do one day) still seems impossibly big.

All of those impossibly big tasks: a huge paper, saving for a home, changing a culture… they may seem intimidating but really, they’re not because at the heart of all of those huge tasks are many, many tiny tasks. A few paragraphs or sentences at a time will get you a paper, a few dollars in the bank on a regular basis will eventually add up, a few mindful actions from a dedicated group of individuals can make major steps towards changing a culture… you get the picture.

Its a powerful thing to remind yourself of from time to time, in any context. I know I personally often feel discouraged and as if I am not doing enough, especially in the face of horrific tragedies like what is currently happening in Japan.  Remembering that the supplies and money that you and I donate are going to come together to make up a much larger relief effort that actually will help other people to rebuild their lives makes me feel that much more powerful than I did before. (Though I still wish I was capable of doing more than just donate money.)

If you plan to make a donation to the Japanese relief efforts please consider giving the money to an organization that actually uses all of the money you donated to help Japan. (As opposed to organizations like the Red Cross that have not been totally accountable with donations from past disasters.)  Here’s a fairly exhaustive list of charities to start from to help Japan… although it hasn’t been extensively fact-checked, so I’d still recommend doing a little more research to ensure that the organization you choose has no history of being shady with donations.

So please, never hesitate to help out because you “can’t do enough” and never talk yourself out of a dream because it is simply “too big.” Just keep reminding yourself: small & persistent is the stuff that changes the world.

Not Quite a New Years Resolution…

This cartoon is not completley relevant, since this is not a post about New Years resolutions, because I don’t believe in them. However, since this is the first post of the New Year and this post can be seen as inspiration for those of us who make resolutions (and those who don’t) its relevant enough to post. Plus, Calvin and Hobbes rocks!

So anyways, today I want to talk about our dreams. Specifically, what stands between us and the realization of whatever dreams we have…

Back in Jr. High School, when I hated life and felt like it was impossible for me to make friends and be happy, I decided that I needed to adopt a new life philosophy. I didn’t see it as a philosophy at that time, since I was just thirteen, but all the same I started telling myself:  “I’d rather regret something I did, than regret something I didn’t do.”

All of a sudden, my life started to change.

“I’d rather regret the things I have done than the things that I haven’t .”

Apparently I was quoting Lucille Ball.

The first thing I did, under this new philosophy, was apply to attend a private school in my area. Although I was nervous about leaving my handful of friends behind, I really felt like I needed a fresh start somewhere where no one knew me or knew how much I was teased and isolated normally in school. I got in, and suddenly I had a whole world of opportunity open for re-invention! [That story is told more fully in this post.]

This philosophy took me through High School to College, where  I made sure I jumped in from day one – making friends everywhere I could and volunteering for the Women’s Center where I eventually made a TON of friends, and got the most amazing job ever on top of that! I got my internship in the same way – my advisor encouraged me to shoot for some really competitive internships and I figured I had nothing to lose, so I applied.

This image is deceptive, in real life it was MUCH more uneven than this.

I’m not saying this philosophy hasn’t brought me bad times.  In one particularly poor bit of decision-making I ended up with a splotchy purple/brown/blonde/fuschia mess of hair just two hours before a movie date! On a more serious note, I made some mistakes in high school that I still regret to this day. Some decisions (like where to go to college) caused me many tearful, anxious nights. I got rejected from two internships before I was accepted by the perfect one.

That’s life though, its never going to be fun 100% of the time, there are GOING to be rejections and failures and tears and pain… but if you’re going to fail anyways, wouldn’t you rather have tried your best and failed spectacularly instead of not trying at all? I would. Those failures make for be best stories, after all. (My purple-hair experience eventually became a short-story that earned me an A in a class, for instance.)

It makes me incredibly sad to watch people I care about pass up on their dreams because they’re afraid. I’ve seen talented people with AMAZING dreams just give up because they feel that the odds are stacked against them, or there’s someone better out there, or whatever else they’ve told themselves to justify not trying. This isn’t okay.

When you consider all of the horrible things that can be there standing in our way, like prejudice, poverty, social inequality that leads to a lack of opportunities… why would you ever make it harder for yourself by standing in your own way? There are always going to be more talented people out there and, yes, rejection happens… but sometimes, when you put yourself out there, you get exactly what you wanted. And if you don’t? All you have to do is make a new plan, and try again.

I graduate from college in just three short semesters (fingers crossed that I finish my two majors in time) and, to be honest, I am TERRIFIED. I went from knowing exactly what I was going to do in my life  to deciding to chase some stronger passions without as clear of a career path. This was a slightly scary, but exhilarating, decision to make as a first year student… but now that I am a junior I’m not sure whether I want to thank my eighteen year old self or yell at her! The scariest thing of all: I won’t know how to feel about all of this for quite a few years now, after I’ve graduated and have some idea as to where these decisions are going to take me…  but that’s okay. Its okay because I know that no matter where life takes me, I am NOT going to give up on my dreams.

I wrote this for myself, because I have a few opportunities floating out there that I am waiting anxiously to hear back about. I don’t even expect acceptance from either of them, to be honest, because they’re such big reaches for me… but there’s no harm in trying! (I’ll be more specific when I get an acceptance/rejection!)

More than that though, I wrote this for everyone else out there because I remember all too clearly what it was like to feel paralyzed and miserable and useless, not wanting to even get out of bed because I just knew that the world was waiting to knock me down.

[ETA: I just want to make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I don't feel as if depression is something you can just believe yourself out of. Mental illness is on of those totally unfair, difficult to live with, cards that the world deals out to people... but believing in yourself enough to seek out help, whatever kind of help you feel comfortable with and can access, can be an important first step in making the most out of the life you have!]

I know sometimes even simply surviving is MUCH harder than just believing in yourself, because the world is an incredibly unfair place, but at the same time I do truly believe that if you have that faith in yourself you can achieve so much MORE than you would have otherwise, no matter what your circumstances are. So let go of self doubt and just, get out there in 2011… after all, what have you got to lose?

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What’s awesome about you? What are your dreams? How are you working towards them? Help me turn the comments of this post into a source of inspiration and community!

Just a Bit of Inspiration

I think I’ve watched this video at least ten times in the last twenty-four hours. Does anyone have more info on Katie Makkai, other poetry she’s done, if she is available to do speaking engagements, an official website, a blog, whatever? I’d love to see more of her work and maybe even bring her to my school (provided we can afford it) but Google is failing me today.